TCGB - The CareGivers Blog

50 Communication Tips and Techniques for Caregivers

2008-06-20T08:32:00.000-05:00

Fiona King just sent me a link to a good article they just published at their site. I think it's important information every caregiver should know. Check it out:

50 Communication Tips and Techniques for Caregivers

It's Spring ... so what's my excuse now?

2008-04-19T15:32:00.003-05:00

I was just outside removing all the winter debris (leaves, branches, etc.) that have accumulated in my garden and around my bushes and trees .... and I actually worked up a good sweat, raking, dragging trash cans, scooping up leaves, breaking up limbs, and so forth. I came inside feeling really good ... but then I sat here at this computer and proceeded to eat a whole bag of sesame sticks ... granted they are low fat and no salt, but there's still a whole lot of carbs in there .... it feels like I've defeated all my exercise by doing this.

And mom? This heat is so hard on her .... she went outside to sit and after about a half hour, she could hardly stand up she was shaking so badly .... I put up the umbrella on the patio but she refused to sit under it ... she insisted she was cold and wanted to sit in the sun. When she gets insistent like this, there's not much I can do to change her mind. So, now I'm sitting here feeling bloated from all the sesame sticks and she's passed out in her recliner ... what an exciting Saturday afternoon LOL

I'm heading out the door now for a long walk before I make our dinner .... let's hope I feel better when I get home.

uuummmmph

Adjusting to my lifestyle

2008-04-17T16:33:00.002-05:00

Now that my sister is gone, I can't leave mom alone as long as I could before when my sister helped out with the mom coverage ... so I had to map out a four-leaf clover of 1-mile walks around my mom's neighborhood, with her house in the middle ... so I take these quick 1-mile walks and hopefully get all four of them in during the day so I've walked 4 miles or 1 hour ... it seems to work and I'm not away from mom long enough for her to get in trouble or worry about where I am. I hope this lasts for a while, cuz these walks are once again my sanity now that my sister is gone. And, while my sister was here, I did much too much snacking so I need to get back to good eating and exercise!

So far the news on my sister and her new life and career in Southern Cal is good. Here, Spring is in full bloom and I'm working in the yard a lot and that helps my mood.

Life is a bit boring, but at least nothing bad is currently happening ... and I pass the time getting phone calls from political candidates.

My sister has left

2008-04-11T14:39:00.002-05:00

Man, I am so proud of my sister! The last 6 months, she has shown me her strength in so many ways ... and now, she is healed and has left today for her new career in California ... so now I no longer must caregive for her, but now it's just me and mom again ... and I'm really happy for my sister ... but it just accentuates to me how much I have given up to care for my mom ... my sister was able to get thru her struggles and get back to her life ... but I remain here without much of a social life.

I know, in my heart, that I will never regret having done this for my mom, but seeing my sister head back into the real world really makes me jealous!

I guess that's part of being a caregiver ... if you do a really good job, the people you care for will end up in better shape than you! Sooo ... I guess I just need to get back to caring for ME, while I continue to care for mom.

I'm proud of my sister for all she's done, but I guess I'm also proud of me for having helped her when she needed it most.

But, damn, I really miss her ... it was so nice, for these past 6 months, to have someone to talk to and laugh with. Today I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness.

Blog - Linda's Computer Stop: Conditional Formatting in Excel 2007

2008-04-06T13:14:00.001-05:00

Since I haven't been blogging much in this blog lately, I figured I would show you what I've been doing. I'm trying to get my website up to date and include more stuff about Windows Vista and Office 2007 ... but, becuz mom's care takes up so much of my time, it's a slow process. Maybe if some of you caregivers are trying to find ways to work from home, my website will help train you in the use of software so you are more employable ... if so, that would make me happy. Here's a sample of one of the free tutorials I've added recently:

Blog - Linda's Computer Stop: Conditional Formatting in Excel 2007

I've been quiet for a while

2008-04-01T11:03:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted in this blog in a while cuz this part of my life is mostly too private to share, I guess. But, I'm still here ... mom is doing well and my younger sister's head is all healed and she's leaving us in a couple weeks to move to California where she's just accepted a very good engineering job.

Me? I just had my 60th birthday yesterday and I'm still trying to get my head around that number ... but yes, I know, it's just a number.

Hope all you caregivers out there are doing OK.

Happy Holidays

2007-12-21T18:53:00.000-05:00

Well, this year I'm happy that mom is able to enjoy another Christmas and my sister is able to drive again and is looking for a job. I'm also glad that my own health has improved greatly over the past year, since I've been eating better and exercising more (and losing weight ... YAY!!). I'm not real thrilled about some of the stuff I've had to go thru this year, but I'm hopeful 2008 will be better.

I'm with Tiny Tim and agree that God has blessed us, everyone ... I hope you all are safe and warm for the holidays.

Ho Ho Ho

Holiday times acomin'

2007-11-15T16:29:00.000-05:00

Well, we had some good news here today ... my younger sister had a follow-up cat scan and neurosurgeon visit and he says her brain looks great ... so, for the next month, we slowly wean her off the brain numbing drugs and hope no seizures come .... if not, she'll be able to drive by Christmas and get a job in the new year ... so she's pretty happy.

Mom's doing pretty well too. She's settling into her new life which includes some new annoyances (like oxygen and a walker) but her spirits are good.

Me? Well, I'm just hoping to get thru these upcoming holidays without gaining weight! Wish me luck on that one.

Here's hoping we all have a safe and relatively uneventful holiday season.

Happy Turkey Day to all!!

Getting ready for the holidays

2007-11-11T10:15:00.000-05:00

Well, this Thanksgiving is presenting me with many challenges ... how much can mom actually do? Since mom insists she is still super woman, it's hard to figure out what her limits really are. Though she only uses her oxygen once or twice a day, her cardiologist is very concerned becuz she still only shows 15% heart function ... I'm amazed she can even walk ... but she seems to be doing relatively well. Fortunately, she is not insisting that she cook Thanksgiving dinner this year, so my older sister has volunteered to have all of us at her place for the feast this year.

Now, all I have to worry about is fitting mom, my younger sister, all of mom's oxygen gear, mom's wheelchair, mom's walker, our three suitcases, and me into my little car ... this should be interesting. And, once the big day arrives, I am hoping I won't go overboard on eating ... but hey, if I do, I guess that's what that day is all about, eh?

Happy Thanksgiving to all ... just in case I don't get a chance to write here again before then!

Happy Halloween

2007-10-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

Well ... believe it or not, the day I brought my mom and sister back home, thinking all would be peaceful for a while, my mom goes into congestive heart failure and gets pneumonia and ends up in the hospital for three days. I am getting VERY tired of emergency rooms!! But, she's home now and oxygen is now a part of our decor, but she's getting stronger everyday.

Happy Halloween from me and my "bald" sister LOL

I hate doctors and hospitals!

2007-09-27T07:07:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it ... my sister's MRI showed that about one third of her brain is covered in blood and the subdural hematoma is growing and what do the doctors in the hospital do? They discharge her and tell us to make an appointment for her to see the doctor in a couple weeks! So, we got a second opinion from a neurosurgeon recommended by a family friend and he took one look at the MRI and said "I wouldn't want this in my head" and scheduled Deb for surgery. She had the surgery two days ago and was recovering well, but now she's spiked a fever and they can't figure out what's causing that ... hopefully nothing major.

Trying to take care of my mom while running back and forth to the hospital has been an exhausting experience ... but, those of you out there who are caregivers know how this goes ... I'll get thru it somehow. I just hope my sister comes thru this stronger and better than ever and can get on with her life, as well as helping me take care of mom.

Prayers are appreciated!

What next?

2007-09-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

My sister, who was supposed to be coming here to help me take care of my mom, had an "incident" two days ago (doctors still aren't sure if it was a stroke, a seizure, or what), but she kinda went catatonic on me and almost fell down the stairs ... thank God I was near her and caught her. So, she is in the hospital now (in a head trauma unit) and they are watching her. They did an MRI and she has a subdural hematoma from a previous fall and it is pretty large and does not seem to be healing, so they are considering brain surgery. I have no idea what will happen or how this is going to affect my life, so I'm in real limbo here ... but I'm hoping someone can give me some answers soon. It does feel like I'm losing more and more of my own life and I'm trying very hard to hang onto what's good for ME, but at times like this it is just so hard to focus on myself when my mom and sister are so needy. But, I promise you all that I am doing everything in my power to protect my own health and I'll hopefully be back in touch with you soon ... but right now, my days are spent running back and forth between the hospital and home and I'm too exhausted to even think much lately.

When does this end?

How things can change on you ....

2007-08-26T18:25:00.001-05:00

Just when I thought things were going to get easier on me cuz my younger sister was moving here to help me, she had a bad fall and ends up with a subdural hematoma on her brain. So, yes, she is here now but instead of helping me take care of mom, I'm now taking care of both her and mom. She assures me this is only temporary and she is bound and determined to turn this around, but at this point she has difficulty walking, has slurred speech, and is having some vision problems along with some other minor annoyances. She has seen my doctor and is now waiting to see a neurosurgeon. So, if there are any of you out there reading this, I would appreciate your prayers, good vibes, special thoughts, meditations, etc.

So, that's where I'm at right now. Some days I worry that this could go on for the rest of my damn life ... but, my older sister is trying to help me and assures me she won't desert me on this one.

I'm told we never get more than we can handle. Time will tell ....

Explanation without details

2007-08-18T09:13:00.000-05:00

I guess this is one of those times when I question "What good is a blog?" I have SO much to say but most of it is way too personal to splatter across the internet. Suffice it to say that it looks like my younger sister IS coming here ... but she is not a healthy girl herself and will require some care from me. How much care I have left in me is the question, but only time will tell.

My older sister has flown out to Santa Fe to bring my younger sister home ... and I am praying that God will realize this family has had our fair share of hardships lately and give us a break!

Didn't get my sister after all

2007-08-03T15:28:00.001-05:00

I don't really want to go into the reasons why, but suffice it to say it's just me taking care of mom ... my sister is not coming. I know a lot of caregivers are often disappointed by their siblings and don't get the help they need or want, so I'm sure some of you can understand how I'm feeling right now. But, I made a commitment to help my mom, no matter what, so this does not change that.

Heading off to get my sister

2007-07-21T08:46:00.001-05:00

I haven't been posting much lately cuz I've been really busy trying to get my house ready for my sister to move in with us. I will be flying to Santa Fe, NM on Thursday, July 26, then spending about a week there helping her get everything packed up, have a yard sale, etc. The movers will pack up the rest on Aug.1 and 2, then she and I and her two dogs will hop in her car on Aug. 3 and drive back here to PA .... that trip will take about 4 or 5 days, I'm thinking. So, I won't be doing much on the computer during that time, but I will be checking my email, website, and online classes occasionally from the road. My other sister will be taking care of mom while I'm gone and her husband and son will actually be doing some house maintenance here that they've been promising to do for a year, so that gives me something to look forward to on my return.

Wish me luck that this trip is successful and the best decision for all involved!

How my day is going so far ....

2007-06-27T12:48:00.000-05:00

Here's how my day is going, so far ...

It looks like my sister may be moving out here from Santa Fe, to help me out with mom. She's waiting to get estimates from three moving companies before she accepts one and gets me a plane ticket to come out there to drive back with her ... but, since I've been using all three bedrooms upstairs (one as my bedroom, one as my office, and one as a closet/storage/junk dump), I have to get rid of some of my stuff so she can have one of these bedrooms ... so, I've been trying to shift stuff around up there and clear out one room ... but, you know how that goes ...move stuff here so you can put that there, then move that here so you can put this there .... so the whole upstairs looks like a bomb went off ... and also, I'm moving lots of stuff out to the garage and offering it on freecycle ... mostly computer stuff ... plus a bunch of crap is going out in the trash ... and, also, I'm donating a bunch of stuff to goodwill .... so there's piles of stuff EVERYWHERE!!

Oh ... and on top of all this, I seem to have gotten some poison ivy or something and I've got itchy bumps all over my arms and legs ... and, of course, I scratched them during the nite, so they are bleeding and now my chin is itching ... so I must've scratched them, then touched my chin. So, now I'm covered in this anti-itching stuff and it's kinda helping, but I still get the occasional itch.

And, it is sooooo HOT and humid here, I could die!!

Bad timing = good workout!

2007-06-11T14:44:00.001-05:00

I spent most of the morning at the doctors with my mom so I couldn't get a morning walk in. So, when I got home, after I made her some lunch, I decided to go out for a quick mile and a half before it rained (cuz it was looking pretty gray outside) ... well, I made it about half way and the thunder started ... I realized it didn't matter if I turned around or kept going, either way I was gonna get caught in the rain ... and then it started lightening and raining HARD ... so I figured I better RUN ... so, I ran about 3/4 of a mile to get home ... and was I ever drenched ... and, of course, mom was worried about me cuz of the lightning.

But I RAN 3/4 of a mile!!!! WITHOUT STOPPING!!!!

But, now I'm dried off and in fresh clothes and having a glass of merlot while I watch the beautiful thunderstorm that's going on outside (on my laptop on battery, of course).

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I got mom a wheelchair

2007-06-07T10:23:00.001-05:00

I got mom's doc to write a prescription for a lightweight wheelchair and mom's insurance covered 80% with a 20% co-pay, so I ordered her chair from a local hospital supply place and they delivered it this morning. I only need to pay $14 a month for 10 months and then the chair belongs to us. It's very high quality and very comfy for mom ... plus it’s a hemi, which means it's smaller and fits nicely in the trunk of my car ... mom is a tiny little thing, so it's perfect for her. Hopefully, tonite after dinner, I'll take mom on our first excursion together .... I think she'll enjoy getting out and I'm sure pushing her (especially uphill) will increase my workout, so this should be a good thing all around. Mom also wants me to take her to a couple local parks that have paved walking paths, so that should be fun too. Plus, now that I can take her with me, I don't have to stay so close to home ... maybe I can even take her to the mall on occasion (not that I'm a mall kinda gal, but it could be a nice diversion for us, every once in a while.).

40 years ago today

2007-06-01T17:56:00.001-05:00

I just heard on TV tonite that forty years ago today the Beatles released Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band ... and I can remember that like it was yesterday ... except, I was so different then ... I was 19 years old, a radical hippie in college, in love with the man I would eventually marry for 18 years, psyched to change the world!! And here I am today, 59 yrs old, with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, overweight, unemployed and taking care of my 90-yr-old mom, about 3000 miles away from the man I now love, and totally unsure of what my future even holds. That, to me, is soooo depressing!

Any tips on how I make my life fun again? LO

Gmaps Pedometer

2007-05-29T09:23:00.000-05:00

Gmaps Pedometer

This is really cool ... it lets you calculate the miles you walk/run ANYWHERE ... even if it's not on a road and you can't calculate it with your car. I just spent a while calculating all of my normal walk routes. It's fun.

Just zoom in until you find your location, then click on the button that says Start Recording, then double click on your starting point, then just keep double clicking every time your route makes a turn and you'll see the whole route being mapped and it will tell you how many miles you went.

Me and the teenagers

2007-05-23T12:59:00.000-05:00

I needed some alone time this afternoon so I went Nordic walking on my no-longer-existent high school’s old track and I was up there with a bunch of teenagers …. At first it pissed me off that these kids were invading my space, but then I started thinking, “We sure never exercised when we were kids, did we?” … so then I started actually respecting these kids. Of course, since they were all running around the track and here I was, this old lady weirdo walking with these strange poles, I started thinking what we would have said about me when we were teenagers … and then I got pissed again LOL

Changing my lifestyle

2007-05-11T16:44:00.000-05:00

My uncle and aunt took me and mom out to lunch today … to one of those Country Buffet places where you can eat all you want … well, I don’t like those kinds of places cuz the food is really not very healthy and I tend to eat way too much of it … so, when we got home, mom passed out in her chair and I went to the track for a run …. I’m so glad that’s how I deal with overeating now … the old me would have been passed out on the couch right beside mom LOL

I ran a half mile today!

2007-05-10T11:27:00.000-05:00

OK ... compared to real runners, I know this isn't much ... but I'm proud of myself. I took my normal walk this morning, which is a half mile to the local track, four walking laps around the quarter-mile track, then a half mile back ... that's two miles total ... well, today I RAN two of the four laps (walked one, ran one, walked one, then ran the last one)... I've never been able to run two laps before ... generally I only run one lap or even just half of one lap.

I won't tell you about my morning with mom, that sent me flying out the front door in need of a release! LOL

New places to go for walks

2007-05-02T14:23:00.001-05:00

I just discovered this park that's about a 10-minute drive from me and they have 10 miles of walking trails, which are really nice, from flat to rolling hills to some pretty steep hills ... there's all kinds of wildlife (both flowers and animals and lots of birds ... wild turkeys walk beside you on a lot of the trails LOL) ... what a nice find for me, since most of my walking is on concrete thru my suburban neighborhood ... I've also been toying with the idea of checking out some cemeteries ... they seem to have nice paved paths and lots of rolling hills ... my only prerequisite is I have to be able to get there, walk the walk, and get home within 90 minutes cuz that's about as long as I feel comfortable leaving my mom alone.

That's my quest lately ... to find nice places to walk!