Man, I am so proud of my sister! The last 6 months, she has shown me her strength in so many ways ... and now, she is healed and has left today for her new career in California ... so now I no longer must caregive for her, but now it's just me and mom again ... and I'm really happy for my sister ... but it just accentuates to me how much I have given up to care for my mom ... my sister was able to get thru her struggles and get back to her life ... but I remain here without much of a social life.
I know, in my heart, that I will never regret having done this for my mom, but seeing my sister head back into the real world really makes me jealous!
I guess that's part of being a caregiver ... if you do a really good job, the people you care for will end up in better shape than you! Sooo ... I guess I just need to get back to caring for ME, while I continue to care for mom.
I'm proud of my sister for all she's done, but I guess I'm also proud of me for having helped her when she needed it most.
But, damn, I really miss her ... it was so nice, for these past 6 months, to have someone to talk to and laugh with. Today I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness.
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4 comments:
I feel for you and can totally relate. I found your blog by googling "caregiver blogs". My mother-in-law is 86 years old later this month. She is bed/wheelchair bound, incontinent, agoraphobic, (no spending time outside for me), and more than a little paranoid. What a handful! Her daughter comes to visit for a couple of hours every week or so and my husband and I go run errands together and sometimes get to take our teenage daughter with us. IF she's available! (You know teenagers!)
I battle depression a good deal, I guess mostly because of the trapped feeling I have all the time. I am here with her 24/7 except when my sis-in-law comes over or I dump the whole mess on one of my two girls and run out with my husband.
Do Not Let your sister's leaving get you down. This won't be forever and, someday, you will look back at your quality time with your mom and be soooo glad you had it. But, I'm sure you already know that.
Good Luck!
Thanks so much for your comment, HalfAsstic. It always helps to know others are going thru what I'm going thru. If you need an email buddy, I sent you an email and would be happy if you replied.
When we are stuck inside like this, it helps to have email friends!
How lucky for your to have a sister who help(ed) with your mom. My bother lives 600 miles away and NEVER even offers to come and help for a bit. He is retired and could easily do that. I work full time, care for husband and mom. RIght now I feel like my mom is going to outlive me. Seesh, as much as I love her, people used to get old and die. Now they just take pills and live forever.
Well, I guess you didn't read my whole blog ... my sister didn't come here to help me ... she came here becuz she had to have brain surgery and I had to take care of HER along with my mom. But, it was nice to have her here and I enjoyed helping her. My other sister lives about 40 miles away and comes occasionally to visit, but I'm the one who made the decision to take care of my mom ... it was MY choice, so I live with the consequences ... though I must admit I occasionally need to whine a little, but I wouldn't have this any other way.
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